


Communal Movie Night At Sugawara's House

by killu0tine



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Breaking the Fourth Wall, Gen, M/M, Madonna is involved, Multi, akaashi has a phd in gender studies, crimes are committed, himbos, hinata comforts kageyama when his senses are overwhelmed, kageyama and hinata are very sweet, mild description of sexy stuff but nothing too off the wall, most of the gang is here, neurodivergent kings, noya is on the roof the whole time, ratatouille - Freeform, tanaka is a dumbass het in the best of ways, the ram ranch guy is involved too, they're partying!, underage drinking? only suga does it tho and he might be old enough idk, where the fuck is ennoshita and the other second years lmao idk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-22
Updated: 2020-04-22
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:08:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23792092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/killu0tine/pseuds/killu0tine
Summary: Sugawara just finished his last year at Karasuno and to celebrate is throwing a movie night! He has invited tons of hot volleyball players and his friends (who are coincidentally hot volleyball players) to have fun! Hang out! Not do anything illegal (they follow this one really closely! Don't worry!)!
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Azumane Asahi/Sugawara Koushi, Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei, Kuroo Tetsurou/Yamaguchi Tadashi, Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Kudos: 27





	Communal Movie Night At Sugawara's House

**Author's Note:**

> This barely has a plot and I'm not sure how well I pulled off doing something this episodic and situational, but I hope I did the characters well despite how the entire premise of this is just them going nuts. This is my first time writing something with such a large cast in such a short story, so I'm sorry if any characters aren't written on as much or at all. It's easy to lose track.
> 
> Let me know what you think as always!

After Suga's last year of high school, he wanted to invite all of the Karasuno volleyball team over to his place to celebrate with a movie. 

Being the talented event planner he was (Sugawara was the class president in middle school, known to his friends as "Yung Bernie Sanders" ever since), he even invited some of the other teams. Most of them couldn't make it because so many of the schools were out of town, but some, coincidentally the ones I actually know shit about, did show up. For example, not limited to, some bishie setters (Suga was very happy about this, he'd dreamed about many of them ~~especially Akaashi~~ several times), Big Booty Bitch Bokuto, the gays from Nekoma, and Seijoh.

He sat down with a glass of wine, crossing his legs. His parents were conveniently out of town, but they were out of town a lot regardless. It was him and his goldfish Peggy most days.

"Fuck, I hope they come." Sugawara muttered to himself while he watched an episode of Gilmore Girls.

Two and a half episodes of Gilmore Girls later, the first knocks came from Daichi and Asahi.

They all got into a group hug, and sat down talking to each other.

It was 8 pm, and no one could decide on what movie to watch.

They were split between "Antfarm Dickhole" and "In Bed With Madonna (Madonna: Truth or Dare)". Civil war was emerging.

Some of them weren't interested at all. Oikawa had snuck upstairs, dragging Iwaizumi with him.

 _please don't cum in my mom's bed. PLEASE don't do that._ Sugawara crossed his fingers, eyes tightly shut with nervousness.

Kuroo brought out a DVD he had and everyone looked at him weird because, like, they could just watch Netflix, do you think it's 2006? 

**COWBOY  
GRANT MACDONALD**

Everyone at the party stopped arguing to look at it. It was a nice picture. There was a picture of a half naked man in a cowboy hat standing on a field, peering over his shoulder.

"Kuroo, we have kids in the audience." Suga crossed his arms.

"I mean, that dude's pretty hot." Tsukishima pointed out.

"Not as hot as I am." Kuroo flashed a wink.

Kageyama and Hinata were practicing volleyball outside. Suga wasn't even sure if they actually wanted to do anything besides do that.

"I _hate_ gay people." Sugawara sunk down onto the couch next to a now shirtless Kuroo, drinking his second glass of wine which was actually cherry Kool-Aid.

"Jealousy is a disease, bitch, quarantine yourself." Tsukishima smirked.

They finally settled on the Madonna documentary, since Kuroo's gay porn movie from the creator of such acclaimed works as "Ram Ranch 7" had caused a rift and split decisions.

"Bruh," Tanaka began, "if I had gone to a Madonna concert in 1990 the rainy season would've started cause of my pants. Do you have any idea how hot-"

"Ryuunosuke! Shut up!" Saeko slapped him.

"I meant it ironically." Tanaka pouted.

Tsukishima and Yamaguchi giggled uncontrollably and Yamaguchi held on to Tsukishima, who was too busy laughing to really care that Yamaguchi was acting, like, really gay right then.

Bokuto and Akaashi walked in just right then.

Akaashi apologised for being late, explaining that Bokuto took a wrong turn and since he didn't trust Bokuto to drive to begin with, he took over and had to take the back road to avoid getting arrested for underage driving.

"My prepared defense to the cops was," Bokuto cleared his throat, "Officer, the only illegal thing on Akaashi is that ASS! But I had forgotten about it because he made me listen to Björk for an hour."

"I could say the same and more about you, Bokuto." Akaashi laid down on the floor, watching the film like he was at school and he had to take notes.

"Bokuto, the fact that you know who Björk is, is mind-boggling." Sugawara laughed.

"Hey! She's not that obscure! Akaashi listens to bitches I don't even know the name of." Bokuto pointed out. Akaashi had incredibly gay and pretentious taste in music.

Kageyama walked in from the back door with Hinata following. Suga's house was packed and Kageyama felt his muscles start to tense, and started to relax right then as he felt Hinata hold onto his hand.

"You want chocolate milk, Yamayama?" Hinata's voice, bright and soft, asked Kageyama.

"Yeah." Kageyama said.

Hinata brought out one glass instead of two, as part of his sinister plot to share it and "accidentally" kiss him. Even if there was chocolate milk involved.

When they ended up drinking it at the same time, Tsukishima sneered from the couch, "What the fuck are you guys doing?"

They were kissing. Duh.

"Tsukki, can we go back to playing strip poker with Kuroo except there's no poker and Kuroo is the only one who can strip?" Yamaguchi suggested.

"Please DON'T let him take off his underwear. Tetsu's already convinced he has a future in modeling." Kenma warned.

"Too late, bitch." Kuroo proceeded to take off his socks.

"Are any of you... distinguished men of varying but mostly queer sexuality WATCHING THE FUCKING MOVIE?" Uh oh, demon Suga was out. Watch your motherfucking back.

Everyone at the party went silent except a quiet, short whisper of "lame" from Tsukishima.

Asahi raised his hand meekly. "I am."

Suga spread out, cuddling Asahi. "I didn't mean you, baybeeee."

"Hey, there's a lot of vaginas in this movie. Which reminds me. Sometimes I wish I wasn't straight, because I'm pretty sure girls pee through their vaginas and that's how they get wet." Tanaka mused.

"I- I don't even know where to start on that." Daichi clasped his hands over his face.

Nishinoya was too busy climbing onto the roof to offer input. I tried reaching him but I'm only so tall.

"I'm literally going out to get drunk so I can forget you're related to me." Saeko was disappointed in her himbo-in-training brother.

"Girls don't pee out of their vaginas." Akaashi stated.

"Yeah, they do!" most of the room said.

"Welllllllll," Akaashi paused the Madonna documentary and stood up like he was about to rap a historically significant Nicki Minaj verse.

"People with vaginas have a urethra. That's a scientific word for peehole. And it's not in the same place as the vagina. That's the hole behind it. So no, no one actually pees out of their vagina unless if something's gone horribly wrong. Also, not every girl has a vagina, nor is everyone with one a girl. That's based on cisnormative and inaccurate gender roles which don't apply to the whole of humanity and are highly unreliable."

"OK, I get it now. Saeko, come back." Tanaka had tears in his eyes, and could now live out his life as a straight king who treats women like queens.

Saeko triumphantly returned to the kitchen, and walked out to the yard to talk about beloved lesbian hero Keira Knightley with Kiyoko and Yachi.

"Akaashi, I will literally start making out with you in front of everyone. That was a cultural reset." Bokuto said in earnest.

"Please don't do that, we already have Iwaizumi and Oikawa doing God knows what upstairs, and Kuroo is almost naked-" Daichi interjected.

"Well, you know, we're not exactly atypical as Madonna fans then." Sugawara pointed out.

"Someone should really check on Oikawa and Iwaizumi." Asahi nervously knit his fingers together.

"I'll do it!" Kuroo offered all too quickly.

"I wish we had just watched Ratatouille." said Asahi.

"Even though the rats are inaccurately designed? Their lack of buttholes, for example-" Bokuto felt very smart for saying that.

"Rat buttholes... Not good. That's a light 5 on the problematic scale." Akaashi chided.

"Oh shit, he's really doing it!" Yamaguchi watched Kuroo climb the stairs, still holding on to Tsukishima.

Tsukishima had his phone out, incredibly curious as to what would happen next.

"Yamaguchi, shut up." He was in deep focus.

"Then maybe we should, uh, follow him." said Yamaguchi.

They ended up doing just that and followed Kuroo, waiting for him at the top of the stairs.

Tsukishima heard a splashing noise and ran haphazardly to the bathroom, finding Kuroo in a hot tub with Oikawa and Iwaizumi.

"If you get Daichi or Suga to snitch, I'll kill you." Oikawa sneered at Yamaguchi and Tsukishima.

They immediately called them up after, much to Oikawa's chagrin.

Daichi studied the scene intently.

"Hot damn. That is... Those are some men alright." said Daichi under his breath.

"That is a beefcake buffet if I do say so myself." Sugawara raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms. 

He was suddenly wishing they could be in his house all the time. Beautiful sights like this don't come often, and usually just brief blips in time.

However, everything good has to come to an end so they can be succeeded. 

The next morning, when everyone was gone and after he had cleaned up (fortunately not including any bedsheets), Suga decided to _finally_ listen to the new Fiona Apple album.

**Author's Note:**

> Nishinoya got off the roof and is now in Sugawara's mom's bed sleeping


End file.
